Are Moms and Dads Interchangeable ?
The ongoing discussion about ¡°Torn: True Stories of Kids, Career
& the Conflict of Modern Motherhood¡± and the announcement of the
creation of the Fathers Forum both led readers to ask versions of the
same question in the comments: Can we assume mothers to be different
from fathers? If they are not, then what institutional, social and
historical obstacles are to blame for reinforcing unequal roles and
expectations? And if they are, then how? And what do those differences
mean institutionally,Passport cover, multiple wallets, organizer with ID
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It is a debate without absolute answer, because you can¡¯t
ethically do controlled experiments on humans, and there is no way to
parse out the way we act and the lifetime that has conditioned us to act
a certain way. But we can come close, and at least take a look at how
men and women would act were we able to remove a chunk of the gender
expectations in their lives. Rebecca Hughes Parker, a Manhattan lawyer,
believes that her life is one such data point.
There has been a lot of talk about the desire for 50/50 parenting on
Motherlode and of course the complaint that women still have the
¡°second shift.¡± But even if the man does all the work that women
traditionally do, as my husband happily does, therefore leaving the
mother fully freed to take on the role traditionally played by the
father, is the problem solved? Did I manage to reverse the gender
roles and be the ¡°father¡± who goes to work at the law firm? Nope.
Six and half years after the birth of our twin daughters and almost
five months after the birth of our third daughter, my husband has truly
been the hands-on parent. We have never had a nanny nor a babysitter ¡ª
not through their rocky beginning after a two-month neonatal intensive
care unit stay, not through their terrible twos and threes. We have not
even had a housekeeper. In the nearly seven years I have been working
as a litigator at a large law firm, he has never asked me to come home
earlier, or do any household chores.The ymbol in the actual leather,
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slightly embarrassed to say that I am not entirely sure how to work our
washer/dryer. And yes, our apartment is pretty clean and our twins are
pretty good kids due in large part to his excellent parenting.But the
animal welfare group People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals is
urging New York officials to find a non-lethal solution to the goose
problem.City officials decided in response that this year's canada goose would be sent to food banks.
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